Thank you for all of you who read my post and who snapped me back into reality. I still can't say what way I lean, because I just don't know. My faith is being truly tested right now. Maybe this is just one more of life's lessons that I have to work through; learning to juggle the good the bad and the ugly.
This exact thing happened to me the last time I went on BCP. They really mess with my thoughts and emotions. I start to doubt everything and everyone and my "faith" goes out the window. The last time this happened, Sharon, suggested I look to antidepressants. I did not entertain that idea, not even for a minute. Many years ago I was on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds; when I was on them I was even less myself. I felt nothing. However, I was in an abusive relationship and in a very unstable environment so I am sure that played a huge part in the way they worked, or didn't work. Regardless, those type of medications will never be found in my medicine cabinet; they just aren't for me. Besides, I' m not staying on the BCP anyways, so this soon shall pass.
I am too happy to be this damn sad.
On to other things really quick...
I am doing much better after my surgery. But, I do have to go back on the 12th of April for the real deal. The last procedure I had done was just to remove the infection. Now we have to go back and remove the root cause. Fun stuff.
The surgery falls on CD 27. I will be on pain meds (again) and antibiotics (again) so the next Femara cycle might have to be pushed back. I am not sure what problems, if any, the drugs could cause.
I should call my RE and talk to them, huh?
I have been off of work for 2 weeks now, and that may have something to do with my bad mood. I am loving the time off, but I feel some what out of sorts without a job. I do have the lead on the W/Thurs position at the dentist office, if I want it, but with the surgery and stuff, I am not in any rush. Plus, I am totally going to be one of those people who enjoys some unemploymentment for a minute or two. Why not? I deserve it. Besides, DH said I had to find a job a really wanted not JUST any job.
Now, I will ask that you send some good vibes to a few people I hold close in heart.
* My sister injured her calf a couple weeks ago. They just found out that she has a small clot in her leg. Please send positive thoughts (or prayers) to her, that she recovery quickly.
* Risa over at "Who Shot Down My Stork" just got another BFN. We all know how painful those can be, so please swing over and send her some good cheer.
* Wishing on a Snowflake really needs some love today too. She just found there was not a heartbeat at 9w1d. I am saying lots of prayers for her today. My heart broke when I read the news.
On a positive note--
* Katie at Non Sequitur Chica just got her BFP! I feel partially responsible since she was wearing the lucky socks my DH picked out and that I sent her! I am sure she would love some love!
*Heather at "I Should B..." started blogging again and would love more followers. Please visit her blog by clicking here.