Everything.
I literally just went through my date book and marked down days we will need to have sex. Now, tell me, what's hot about that? When I look at my book I feel like I just pimped myself out. Scheduling dates and times to have sex with the DH? Oh infertility, you are such a bitch. How dare you take the fun out of my love life!! I remember the days when sex was spontaneous. Now, I find myself looking forward to the 2WW; when we don't have to schedule times to have sex, or make love, or whatever you want to call it! My DH does too. I don't want it to sound like we hate having sex, or that it is a chore, because that is not the case. We have a very healthy and satisfying sexual relationship, but anyone who has tired as hard as we have to get pregnant knows that TI just really isn't all that fun. It doesn't matter if you had a bad day, feel tired, or bloated, you better take those big girl panties off and get busy! Time is ticking. That is what sucks about ovulation. Our eggs only last 12-24 hours, while those little swimmers can swim for up to 72 hours! Again. Men have it so easy. Well, my man has it so easy. Don't forget; there are cases in infertility that are solely related to male factor.
I won't lie; when we first started to try with fertility meds and TI, it was difficult. We were horrible at it! The stress of insemination would cause such tension and anxiety that it was nearly impossible for either one of us to enjoy anything; we couldn't even avoid or an argument. The pressure was so strong, there's no wonder we got a BFN on our first try! Since then, we have gotten much better! I try to make it as spontaneous as I can, and make it seem as little an appointment as possible. TI is much easier than it used to be, but yes, it still sucks and we still look forward to the END of ovulation.
So, ya, I 've got the BD schedule down. I figure we need to BD every other day starting on CD 10 and then as soon as I get a (+) OPK we will BD for the following 3 days, then every other day until CD 21-22. In case I ovulate late, I want to make sure we are covered. Like I have said before; there is a difference between "Let's hope get it" and "Lets make sure we don't miss it". Someone once told me "Hope is not a strategy"; in this sense, I agree.
For those that are with me in this IF journey- do you have little tricks you do during TI? Meaning: Do you use pillows to prop up the hips, use Instead SoftCups, Preseed? These are all things I have heard people do. We tried Preseed once. My DH was not a fan.
Lol, only in the blogosphere is it appropriate for me to wish you happy humping!
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks for making me laugh!
ReplyDeleteIt is so not romantic or sexy. My husband and I got into plenty of arguments when we were still doing TI. It was easier some months than others. I did prop my hips up or at least stayed laying in bed for about 20 minutes. We used preseed sometimes but my husband doesn't really like how it feels but it helped on my end. I think I tried the instead cups on 2 cycles. I don't personally think they were any help. I feel like the process of putting it in just squeezed all the sperm out. I don't know. Obviously, none of those tricks worked for me, but I think they do work for plenty of others. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteTI is suck a mood dampener. I have the Preseed and my DH doesn't like it either. But if it could help.... we have to deal.
DeleteWe had TI for almost a year before we got fertility testing done and found out what our issue is. I can definitely relate to how un-sexy it is. I hope you get your BFP soon so you can get your spontaneity back!
ReplyDeleteMe too! Fingers are crossed! I hear you are giving up the Mate... I wish you the best! I need to cut back on the coffee!
ReplyDeleteI have used pillows before, but not lately. I usually just lie still for 10 minutes. I use preseed also. It definitely gets monotonous doing it every other day.
ReplyDeleteI usually just go to sleep afterwards. Maybe we will try some pillows. ;-)
DeleteTimed intercourse is the worst. We've been holding out on this lovely method for a solid 12 months now. I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteMy sister is not an IF so she immediately text me and said "I don't feel comfortable reading about your sex life". Ahh. I told her in the IF world, there is no such thing as TMI! ;-) Am I right?
ReplyDeleteThen tell your sister not to read your blog! (Sorry, rant).
ReplyDeleteI haven't tried anything foreign in me (Ha!) but I lay down and will sometimes prop up my hips. I also heard laying on your stomach instead of your back, but all of this stuff is probably old wives tales. I try to BD where I can stay in bed and fall asleep because it makes me want to cry when I think of all that leaking out when I walk around or pee.
My husband finally had to get a prescription for Viagra for those fertile-window times because sometimes the pressure was just too much and that caused even more bad feelings than the TI did. Good luck. Way to do the deed.
My DH does feel the pressure and we've had a few situations where the rocket ship is on the launch pad, but won't blast off. I've thought about not telling him when I'm at my peak fertility, but I know he'll see right through it. I use my yoga mat under my hips, and even then "stuff" still fall out. Sometimes it feels like my VG is just spitting it out! (oh and to answer your question, no there is no such thing as TMI!)
ReplyDeleteLove the metaphor!!! That was awesome! I have thought about not telling either- but he KNOWS!
DeleteI totally hear ya! Once we're 'out of the gate' (ahem) we enjoy as we always have, but it's the planning build up that is a bit wierd, to say the least.
ReplyDeleteThis is my second cycle with softcups, and although I obviously can't vouch for their baby making potential, I have to say I have become a huge fan because it allows you to avoid the whole legs in the air business, and there's none of the ickiness that jAllen describes. I say, worth a shot!
Girl, my DH just said last night that our sex life is like a job! I don't blame him because it feels like that at times, but last night they wanted us to have sex because our retrieval is tomorrow and he wasn't feeling great, but he put his big girl panties on and it was a success! Not having tubes took a lot the pressure off of TI bcuz there isn't anymore of that, but I think having tubes is better! Good luck!
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