Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Settle Down

Holy emotions! Jeez! But, then again, I welcome them! These are good emotions; I feel like I am making some progress: personally, spiritually and physically. Although, I do blame BCP for contributing to some of the unexpected emotional outbursts.

I'll tell you what I mean by that.

Yesterday when I was in town I saw this handsome pit bull in the back of some guys truck. I am a huge softy  for pitties. I just love them to pieces.This dog just looked so happy, he had this gentle look about him and was just chilling in the back of the truck like a good dog. He must have gotten a bath or got to play in the water because he was wet. Anyway, as the truck passed the dog seemed to look at me and all of a sudden  my eyes got all teary and I started smiling. I was so happy to see, what appeared to be a sweet dog. Ya, that was definitely related to the BCP!

Then, after that I saw the "Little Caesar" lady out waving her sign, playing her guitar, dancing all around and I got all glossy eyed again! I just loved her happiness; her I don't give a f*ck who thinks I look goofy attitude! Kudos to her.  Here. Check out what I mean, she's even made it to YouTube!


Now, tell me that didn't make you smile. ;-)

Finally, on my way home this song came on by Phillip Phillips that made me think about my journey through IF. Because, you, know, IF never really leaves my mind. The first time I heard it though, it reminded me of my DH. It just goes to show that music really can change meanings depending on your mood or situation.

This song  made me think of how I may, deep down, know what my calling is in this life and its just a matter of excepting and pursuing it. I have been through some shit, and I am starting to think that by going through all of these struggles I have gained the empathy I need to follow my dreams of being a counselor or advocate.

Then the song started to make me think that maybe DH and I need to talk more about adoption. Maybe my struggles in all of this will make me a great mom to a child who needs a home. Maybe my child is meant to come to me instead of from me.

Today, on Katie, she had a show on adoption and the theme song was the same one I heard in the car. Ironic, don't you think?

This child that I want so badly has saved my life and is helping me find my purpose. This child I don't have, but can only imagine having, makes me want to be a better person. One day, this child I have dreamt of for so long will find a home in my arms.

It may not be the way we imagined, but we are open to all possibilities.

"Settle down,  It will all be clear..."

 Today was also day #1 of my diet changes. I am making a better effort to take care of myself physically. I reactivated my 'myfitnesspal' account and logged my food! I made it the whole day without caffeine, candy, or junk food! I even took advantage of the awesome day by taking Zoie on a walk. Yay me!

18 comments:

  1. I love that song. Good job on all the hard work today!!

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  2. You make me laugh! So emotional, girly! If you like pitbulls, my neighbor is looking to get rid of her pitbull puppy. He is super cute! ;) My goal was to improve my ways of eating too, but my parents gave me candy for Easter and I CAN'T pass up chocolate....especially Cadbury Eggs. I hope to do better starting tomorrow (since the chocolate is all gone). :) I need to start using myfitnesspal more. On the bright side I talked my hubby into joining a gym! :) Good luck with your diet changes! :)

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    1. I know, I am ridiculous, right!? LOL! My mom gave us candy too, but I am sending it with DH to wokr tomorrow, I need it out of the house! I LOVE Cadbury Eggs! You can find me on MFP - my user name is teresakate24

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  3. birth control definitely made me emotional. If you ever want to talk about adoption, feel free to talk to me. We were on the adoption path for more than a year, and it was the happiest I've been since finding out about our infertility. However you choose to build your family, I know you will be a great Mom :)I'm glad you are open to having the child you are meant to have, and not just the one you've always assumed you would have.

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  4. This is such great news to hear!! You just never know where the struggles will come in to play in another part of your life :) Good luck on the diet, I use myfitnesspal also and it'll keep ya honest on a diet that's for sure! LOL

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    1. My username is teresakate24 ;-)
      I am looking forward to the changes!

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  5. Yay for getting back on the diet train! Wishing you the best of luck with your quest to get healthy!
    Ok, I seriously loved the Little Ceaser's lady video. She was awesome. The Liberty Tax people dressed as the statue of liberty around here are just as cool rockin' out, waiving to the cars!
    Sounds like this week has brought you tons of insight. I'm so happy to read that!

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    1. Little Caeser Lady even has her own FB page! She makes me smile everytime I see her. This has been a good week. ;-)

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  6. I watched that Katie show yesterday! I couldn't believe Nia Vardalos went through 13 rounds of IVF!
    Good luck with getting healthy :)

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    1. 13 rounds just seems insane to me. But then again we pay oop, so the only thing I find ridiculous is the cost. I would probably try that many times, too, if I could! ;-)

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    2. I KNOW I would try that many times if I could. Okay, I say that, but until your in that situation, you really don't know I guess.

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    3. I get emotional all the time, and that is WITHOUT the help of bcp's or other meds! haha! I love that song. I rooted for Phillip Phillips last year on AI and that song came about the time my Grandpa was dying from cancer. One night, as family was gathered around his bed, keeping him company (he couldn't talk at that point), we were playing him music and that song came on. It seemed perfect. Funny how it can relate to so many things. Now I am crying :)

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    4. Awe! Now I love that song even more! I love how music can speak to you!

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  7. What a terrific post. I have to admit. I get tearey eyed sometimes when I see happiness and joy around me too. I think thats a fantastic trait. (hormonal related or otherwise lol)

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    1. Hi Lynsey! Happiness is a great thing! I can't wait to check out your blog

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  8. Awesome job on the diet!!! Keep it up!

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    1. Some days are easier than others! I am craving carbs! UGH!!

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