Settle Down

Holy emotions! Jeez! But, then again, I welcome them! These are good emotions; I feel like I am making some progress: personally, spiritually and physically. Although, I do blame BCP for contributing to some of the unexpected emotional outbursts.

I'll tell you what I mean by that.

Yesterday when I was in town I saw this handsome pit bull in the back of some guys truck. I am a huge softy  for pitties. I just love them to pieces.This dog just looked so happy, he had this gentle look about him and was just chilling in the back of the truck like a good dog. He must have gotten a bath or got to play in the water because he was wet. Anyway, as the truck passed the dog seemed to look at me and all of a sudden  my eyes got all teary and I started smiling. I was so happy to see, what appeared to be a sweet dog. Ya, that was definitely related to the BCP!

Then, after that I saw the "Little Caesar" lady out waving her sign, playing her guitar, dancing all around and I got all glossy eyed again! I just loved her happiness; her I don't give a f*ck who thinks I look goofy attitude! Kudos to her.  Here. Check out what I mean, she's even made it to YouTube!

Now, tell me that didn't make you smile. ;-)



Finally, on my way home this song came on by Phillip Phillips that made me think about my journey through IF. Because, you, know, IF never really leaves my mind. The first time I heard it though, it reminded me of my DH. It just goes to show that music really can change meanings depending on your mood or situation.

This song  made me think of how I may, deep down, know what my calling is in this life and its just a matter of excepting and pursuing it. I have been through some shit, and I am starting to think that by going through all of these struggles I have gained the empathy I need to follow my dreams of being a counselor or advocate.

Then the song started to make me think that maybe DH and I need to talk more about adoption. Maybe my struggles in all of this will make me a great mom to a child who needs a home. Maybe my child is meant to come to me instead of from me.

Today, on Katie, she had a show on adoption and the theme song was the same one I heard in the car. Ironic, don't you think?

This child that I want so badly has saved my life and is helping me find my purpose. This child I don't have, but can only imagine having, makes me want to be a better person. One day, this child I have dreamt of for so long will find a home in my arms.

It may not be the way we imagined, but we are open to all possibilities.

"Settle down,  It will all be clear..."

 Today was also day #1 of my diet changes. I am making a better effort to take care of myself physically. I reactivated my 'myfitnesspal' account and logged my food! I made it the whole day without caffeine, candy, or junk food! I even took advantage of the awesome day by taking Zoie on a walk. Yay me!