Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Why Do You Advocate?

Someone recently asked me "Why do you advocate for infertility? What do you hope to get out of it? 

The question was not meant to cause friction as it was not asked out of rudeness but rather curiosity. Having someone ask me those questions proves that speaking out truly does make a difference. Why else would someone ask that? It's easy: They want to know! If I never spoke up about my infertility they wouldn't be curious!

I advocate for infertility just as people advocate for: peace, for safer gun laws, autism, or cancer; to bring awareness and information to the public about a cause that they are passionate about. While I understand that not everyone is passionate about infertility and some believe that infertility is not a disease; I am and I do. The argument of whether or not infertility is a disease always goes back to cancer. They argue that cancer can kill you; infertility can't. In my opinion, either way, both things are not choices, they are not inconveniences, and while one might actually kill you, they both hurt, they can both be crippling. Any illness, disease or disorder need to be spoken about and they all need to be taken seriously. In my opinion, if alcoholism is a disease so is infertility.

I advocate for infertility so people will stop saying "relax, it will happen", "it might be God's will". It is not okay to trivialize infertility. You would never tell a cancer patient that it was God's will that they are sick. You would never tell them to "relax". 

I advocate for infertility so that someday, we may also get the same compassion as other diseases. I understand that sometimes finding the right things to say to those who are suffering can be a challenge. I hope that by helping people become better educated we will hear less of the "default" condolences and start hearing more compassionate and knowledgeable responses. 

I advocate for infertility for those that can't. For those who are too afraid to talk about it. I advocate so that they can hear my story and hopefully: feel less alone, less isolated, less ashamed and less broken. I share my story so that one day they may have the courage to speak out. The more people that suffer in silence, the longer is takes for people to understand that infertility is a real disorder (if you don't want to call it a disease). Being infertile does not mean we are too uptight, or trying too hard, or that we are paying for past mistakes. Infertility means we have a biological issue that won't allow us to reproduce and it hurts in ways you may never see. It attacks your spirit, your faith, your drive. It can be debilitating for some.

I advocate for infertility so that my state and all other states will have to implement infertility coverage into insurance plans. Our bodies are meant to reproduce and if it can't then there is a medical issue at hand. Plain and simple. I believe that just as the "pre-exsisiting"clause should be removed so should the denial of infertility diagnosis, treatments and monitoring. Again, this is a medical issue not an inconvenience. I have medical insurance to cover my medical issues! I advocate for the right to build my family!

I advocate for infertility so that I may help mothers, parents,  pregnant women, become more aware of the gift they are given. I might, in some way, help them become better mothers. People take for granted what they have when they don't realize how desperately others are fighting for it.We are all guilty of it. I don't think that makes us bad people. It just makes us unaware. I advocate to help raise awareness. Children are a blessing. A gift. Cherish them. Some of us are fighting the fight of our lives to have them.

"One person with passion is better than 40 who are merely interested"~ Tom Connellan

I advocate because I am infertile. 
I advocate because I have passion.
I advocate for me.
I advocate for you.
I advocate for us.


  1. I love it! THanks for sharing!!

  2. Great post!! I am so glad you advocate :)

  3. Thank you for advocating for us!!

  4. Hi from ICLW! Great post!

    ICLW #61

  5. I appreciate you advocating! Sometimes I just wanna scream it from the top of my lungs, but lets be honest, I'm just not ready!

  6. You are such a great asset to this community Teresa. You have this amazing energy and passion and I admire you for that.

  7. This is so well-written. Good for you for standing up for yourself and others who have to fight this battle.

  8. Awesome post! I love your passion, and I commend you for everything you do!

  9. You, my dear friend, are a great advocate for all of us :)

  10. Thank you for advocating for me :) great post


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