Thursday, May 23, 2013

Finding Purpose

For a long time I have felt like my life wasn't meaningful; like I wasted it away. I don't have a fancy college degree; although I am working slowly towards one. I don't have a high paying career, I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up; other than a mommy. To be honest, I hate working for other people and I get burnt out pretty easily.  It is not that I am lazy or that I am a quitter; because we all know that isn't true, just take a look at my TTC timeline, but I just get sick of doing the same thing without going anywhere. I want a job that I love, I want a job where I have purpose and meaning, a job where I can really make a difference.

Tonight at the dinner table I was telling my husband about all the things going on in the blogging world. I told him about all the of the new "likes" the blog's FB has gotten and how many new followers I have. I was telling him that I have encouraged a couple ladies to start blogging and I have done my best to lead people to them, I also expressed to him how wonderful it felt to be able to help others, as someone once helped me.

I jokingly said "I have a gift."
"Too bad that gift doesn't pay out" DH chuckles.

Then is dawns on me.

Maybe my purpose is not having this great paying job and fancy career. Maybe my purpose is this; to help those suffering, with nothing else but my compassion, love and sincerity. I mean, in reality, it is what makes me feel most alive and happy. I could settle for volunteering and helping others suffering with no problem at all. Money is not what makes me happy, touching lives is what makes me happy. Although, paychecks are nice, and of course they are necessary; they are not my purpose.

Growing up, my dad always told me I would be a great nurse because I am so compassionate and that I would also make a great lawyer because I like to argue and I can be pretty persuasive. I obviously didn't pursue those paths. Instead, I screwed around for too many years and did some pretty stupid stuff. 

Thankfully, those days are behind me now but they taught me valuable lessons. After I went through those things and over came them, I was confident I wanted to be a counselor of some sort. An addiction counselor specifically and I also wanted to help out in domestic violence shelters. My goal was to pay it forward. I wanted to help others as others helped me. If it were not for those people, I am not sure where I would be. 

The career path that pulls my heart strings isn't the most glamorous, or best paying, and I know it is not easy dealing with addicts, believe me, I know. But what if I am able to change a life? Even just one. Isn't that worth it?

I still wonder if I can do it, if I should do it. Do I have the skills to do it and will I thrive at it.

Is your purpose your passion or is your passion your purpose?

How did you find your purpose? Are you still looking for it?


Too many quotes? Sorry. I couldn't decide! ;-)

26 comments:

  1. I think you are right. I know that is my purpose now, but it took my years to find that out. Not to say you will not have any children because I believe that you will and I also believe you will go on to be a great mentor and educator when it comes to infertility. Your fb page is so informative and I absolutely love it!

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    1. Thanks, Toni! I wouldn't be here, where I am, if it were not for you! Hugs, friend!!! OR high five...;-)

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  2. I think this is a very important thing to discuss. I am an Occupational Therapy Assistant and although when I first got out of school, I decided that I should work with kids. In the end, I hate parents (or lack there of, at times) and decided that it was not a good fit for me. Now I work in geriatrics and have for the last 10 years. I love it! It is my passion and it is my career. It is a blessing to me and I am a blessing to them. I don't think I could get this much satisfaction out of anything else. I also believe that purpose is a journey and what my purpose is today, may not be what my purpose is tomorrow.

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    1. I love geriatrics. Always have.

      I know my passion lies with helping others in some way shape or form.

      Thank you for sharing!

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  3. Great post! I struggle with my purpose too! I'm a financial analyst and have been doing this for 7 years and really trying to figure out where God wants me. However, blogging seems perfect for you! It's a great purpose and you have touched so many lives! I think it's awesome you encourage others and share your story so well! 2 Corin 1:3-5 the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

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    1. Thank you so much!

      I know that my career may not be my passion or purpose... but blogging, helping other and reaching out- IS! It is what makes me feel good and meaningful!

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  4. Great post!! I think doing what you feel your passion is really should be your career. It sounds like you already do that on a day to day basis :) Just being on here blogging and helping others is exactly that.

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    1. I agree, Amie.

      I have a job that I need to pay bills- and then I have a purposeful passion that I love and that makes me feel alive! ;-)

      I wonder if I need to finish my degree for counseling?

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    2. Did you start a counseling degree? I can speak from someone in the field. I have an MSW. Though I've had a broad idea of wanting to be in this field, it's taken infertility to give me clarity on my specific path to take. I've never been so sure about how I want to use my gift of helping others until now. I have one year left of clinical supervision before I am licensed and able to practice therapy. I do crisis intervention counseling now and I love it but I miss the connection of having regular clients so I can see first hand the change I have helped them to obtain. When my infertiliy is resolved in whatever way that ends up being, I plan on doing therapy specifically for infertility, grief, family building, etc.

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    3. I did. I started to get my AAOT in Addiction Studies. I then went to work full time and school stayed in the burner. I am hoping someday that I will finish. I would love to help those with addiction, battery and infertility issues. Ha! A girl can dream....

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  5. Great post! This is something that I've been dealing with lately. I've been working in Pediatric Cardiology for 4 years now doing various things in the practice. Some days it's really hard working around the kids and pregnant mom's, but the majority of the days it's rewarding; however it's not my passion. Sure I enjoy it, but my passion is really animals, I'm just trying to figure out where that puts me! I already volunteer at a horse rescue facility and wish that could be my full time job...hopefully it will come to me soon!! Love the quotes..I think you would be a wonderful support system for people, in whatever type of path that leads you. You have a gift with blogging, follow your dreams my dear!

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  6. Go for it, girl! I think loving what you do is so important (sadly, I don't love what I do - it's just a means to an end). And then, knowing what you love? That's even more important!

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  7. OMG... at age 40, I am more lost than I've ever been. I work in healthcare, and got into this business thinking that it would be all about helping people and teamwork. Yeah. OK. I spend 99% of my time dealing with stupidity and red tape. It's not at all what I had hoped. My career pays well, but that's really the only thing I enjoy about it.

    Now that my ttc days are behind me, I'm trying to find new purpose. But it's tough- I'm struggling with the whole idea of balance. I am lucky to have my daughter, and raising her is, and always will be, the most important job I have. I don't want to spread myself too thin for her sake, but career change takes a great deal of time and effort. And I have NO CLUE what I want to do. My passions are running, writing and traveling. But none of those things will pay the bills. Sigh... it's so tough!

    Ugh... my point is... I'm still looking for purpose. I think I would have found it if I were wealthy. I could use any of my passions to achieve purpose if money were no object. I guess I'll have to keep buying lottery tickets, and hoping for the best...

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  8. I'm still trying to find my purpose/passion. As a child, I thought I would change the world. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to navigate it. This post is beautiful and I'm glad you've found your passion and who knows? Eventually it may pay:-)

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  9. i don't think what I am doing now is my passion, but it is my peace. I worked in research for many years and I loved every minute of it...The 20 hour days. Working weekends. The pursuit of knowledge. I loved it. Right up until i worked for someone who stole all of the passion I had for the job. He was volatile and difficult and i ended many days sitting in the parking lot waiting for the tears to end so I could drive home safely.
    Now I work for the world's nicest man. I wouldn't necessarily say that it is my passion, but it allows me to live comfortably and be home at night with my husband. There is something to be said for being happy at work without being consumed by it. I hope you find a job that is a balance. That lets you feel happy and fulfilled.

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  10. My passion is children. I was a nanny for six years and I loved the kids! The parents were a pain. The part that I couldn't live with was the isolation. I like people and talking to adults. After six years I knew I couldn't keep it up. I may go back to it one day. I will be entering the healthcare world at a hospital in August. I am excited about the change and it not being a desk job. The constant movement and never a dull moment sounds good to me. However , who knows what it is really like. If I do enjoy the hospital setting I will pursue a nursing degree. For now our focus is ttc an then ill worry about furthering my career.

    This IS the best thing for you! Without you I wouldn't be connected to the best people or have a blog.

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  11. This is such a great post. I've never really thought about it that way, but it is so true. You don't have to bring home a paycheck to be serving your greatest purpose in life. I LOVE this!! And you do a great job inspiring and encouraging people. Love it! Hugs!

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  12. I am in the same boat. I banked on being a mommy. Literally since College, I did an easy major, had no career goals, and when I got married, I just took random job after random job until we would decide to start our family. It's been 10 years, and I have gotten no where. I am embarrassed and feel like a complete loser who has accomplished NOTHING. When we learned that we may not have children, I lost my it. I literally planned for nothing else. And I really dont want to have to start over. I want to work for myself, I want to be in control of my life. At this point after all the control infertility has taken away, I feel extra sensitive when I am "Controlled" by an employer, for instance telling me when I can visit my family, etc.. Was thinking of writing on this myself, so I am glad to see you have addressed it too and that I am not alone!

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  13. notpregnantandpissedMay 23, 2013 at 12:24 PM

    I haven't known you for very long...less than a month really! But as one of the women you befriended and encouraged, I feel I can say that you would be an amazing counselor! Just a few weeks ago I was experiencing so much pain, sadness and isolation. After just a few messages with you I found myself part of a community of women who in one way or another know what I'm going through. This has changed so much for me! Thank you for the encouragement and support!

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  14. Don't they say that if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life? I believe it. I've always felt my purpose was to be a mom (seriously, like even when I was a teenager, all I wanted was to grow up and be a mother). But I also love writing and am trying to find a meaningful way to put that to use. Yes, I'm a writer for a living, but I get so much more value from blogging. Follow your heart and see where it takes you. No regrets!

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  15. It took me a lot of years to figure out what I truly wanted to do. Sometimes, I think it's cruel to make an 18/19 year-old declare a major and say this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I had figured out by my senior year, that what I was studying for and what I was paying all of this money for was not what I truly wanted to do with my life and that sucked.

    Good luck figuring it out! For what it's worth, I think you would be great at helping addicts, geriatrics, whatever you decide it is you want to do.

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  16. I love the quotes. I have posted the same ones in the past. I have always known I would be a nurse. I don't necessarily think I was called to be a nurse, it was just what I always knew I would be. One of the MD's I previously worked with would always tell me I was going to be a blogger b/c I like words. He was right. I have found passion and mental release through my blogging, but then I felt like I should be doing more. I had people I met through my blog, FB page, others social media sites, etc who said that I helped them with their infertility journey. This led me to have a desire to help others with infertility. I have said often over the past few years that I would love to work as an advocate for those with infertility full-time, but since I can't afford to do that at this time, my friend and I have now started a Resolve support group. I hope that through this group something good can come from the negative infertility brings. Best of luck to you!

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  17. Just stopping by from ICLW... Over the past few years I've lost my purpose and my passion. They got gobbled up by the intensity of TTC, the heartbreak of IF/RPL, and then the early years of parenthood. I know I need to find my passion again, my purpose.

    Love the quotes!

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  18. 6 years ago I quit my job to follow my purpose. Although my previous pay may have been better. I have never once looked back with regret. Good luck!

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  19. Great post... totally resonates with me. I too was told all the time that I'd be great at "X". I didn't pursue any of those things. : ( Instead, I have a job, not a career. I made all of the decisions based on one thing: I was MEANT to be a stay at home mom... it was my calling. Now I'm dealing with the "in the mean time" and the even scarrier "after the mean time" as I try to find a purpose to my days beyond motherhood!

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  20. I just want to say that you already ARE touching lives. You DO make a difference to so many, including me. You are a great friend, even if we haven't yet met in person. We will be changing that! I do know what you are saying though. I have felt that way myself fairly recently. That I needed a change. I started researching for a different job and looking into volunteer opportunities. Then softball season started, and the season I had been dreading fast became one I enjoyed! I had been feeling burnt out, but I fell in love with my girls all over again instead. My sister is a drug and alcohol counselor. I can really envision you being a great mentor for others. You should look into it!

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