Recently, a very dear friend, and well known blogger, Risa, lost her baby in an early miscarriage. She was four weeks along and extremely excited. For those of you who don't know her whole story, let me just say that she has been through numerous fertility treatments and after her first IVF, she got her one and only BFP. At four weeks, my dear friend lost her baby.
Some one in her real life told her she announced the pregnancy "too soon". It made me think....
Mike and I have talked about that dreamed of BFP and the announcement many times . We have asked the question "When will we make the big announcement?". Mike knew right away that I would not be able to keep it a secret. I knew that Mike would want to wait. It was a great discussion for us; and now that time has passed. and more and more people become aware of our story; we know we wouldn't want to keep it a secret. We know we would be too excited to hold such exciting news hostage until we were "in the clear".
I wouldn't be able to keep it to myself for three reasons. Number One: who doesn't love celebrating a victory? Getting pregnant after infertility is a huge, huge, huge, thing! I would want to share that with everyone. To me, getting pregnant after infertility is the same as beating cancer. Number two: every pregnancy means a child is growing and because we have no idea how long we have with that child we need to celebrate its life! It doesn't matter how far along you are: 4 weeks, 12 weeks, 15 weeks, 24 weeks, 39 weeks; if a pregnancy is ending a baby is dying. Number three: guarantees are few and far between in life and they are basically non-existent in pregnancy and infertility. I would want to embrace my pregnancy and share it with the ones I love because you never know what will happen. You don't know if the pregnancy will last, you don't know if the baby will survive, you don't know if that will be your last pregnancy.
Some people think that it is better to wait until you are out of the first trimester before telling friends and family the news that you are expecting. I understand that
I am not saying that I think women should announce to the entire world that she is pregnant as soon as the test revels that long awaited second line. I am saying that I don't think it is "too soon" to share the news with the ones you love the most as soon as you know you are pregnant.
My friend lost her baby at 4 weeks, my sister lost her baby at 15 weeks, my mom lost her baby at full term. I don't know what difference it makes when the announcement of the pregnancy was made; if it is going to end, it is going to end. Don't go on living one day, while being pregnant, without celebrating it, and the child growing, for all its amazing glory!