Fact or Fiction

I promised myself I wouldn't blog tonight. I was going to wait until tomorrow, after the results of my progesterone test was in; so that I didn't just ramble and so I actually had news to share, but, sometimes, I am unstoppable.

I learned something today at work and I wanted to share it.

If you follow my blog, you know I have PCOS. My acupuncturist, who doubles as my boss, has been doing a lot of research on PCOS since she has seen an increase of patients battling infertility with a PCOS diagnosis.

She had some articles that talked about ovulation and detection of ovulation in women with PCOS. She says that women with PCOS will always test positive with OPKs because of the elevated LH levels that stay stagnant in the body. This I knew. But, she had an article that caught my attention and it was something I did not know!

When I ovulate I always feel side ache pains. They are deep and low. But, I also experience uterine pain. I have always thought that meant my period was coming, so for the next 14 days or so I waited for AF. This article says that women with PCOS may experience uterine cramping during ovulation; that the cramping mimic those of a menstrual cycle.

As I looked back in my notebooks I see that every ovulation I had the same symptoms; uterine cramping being one of them! I started feeling the uterus cramping on CD 19-20. I know I ovulate late on my own, but with Femara I am pretty sure I ovulate on time, or at least pretty close. The ovulation pains, which feel like sharp, pulling sensation, have been continuous on the left side since CD 15, maybe even 13. The last time we did injection treatments and had a follicle check before triggering. I told the doctor that I thought I was going to ovulate from the left side since that was where all my pain was. Well, I was wrong. The left side had zero follicles and the right ovary had one 19mm follicle. My left ovary is just a bit enlarged. Anyway, I found it interesting that all this time I thought I was imagining this pain, that it was all fiction, but it turns out AF and ovulation pains are very similar. Lesson learned.

The other thing the article talked about was stress. It said that spending all your time thinking about and worrying about the number and size of follicles, or Estradiol levels, we should be focusing on the desire. It mentioned belly massage over thought. The act of doing something rather than over thinking things seemed to produce positive results. So next time you start to worry or stress over numbers, stop. Start massaging your belly while focusing your energy on the desire.



Thanks for reading through my rambling.

Do you do it?

I am talking about meditation.

I never have. Recently I started looking into it. I work in an "alternative health care" office and they believe highly in meditation, relaxation and cleansing behaviors. It seems that I have a hard time with that type of stuff, even religion. I seem to require answers, scientific fact and we can't forget that I crave instant gratification! Obviously, none of those things ever helped me. That type of thinking always left me in trouble or unsatisfied, even mad. 

So, maybe I need to change my thinking; my stinkin thinkin. I found some mediation music online specific to fertility (so it says). Lately, I have this vision of  me: putting on some headphones, laying on the bed, alone, with the curtains closed, the door shut; there I am,  just laying there, drifting off to another place, fully relaxed, calm and open. Focused on my body and visioning what it is that I want.

I have decided to give it a try!

Is that meditation? I don't think there is a certain way to meditate. I see it kind of like praying. There is no right way to do it.

But, when I think of mediation I think of this:

Can't it mean this...