Were You Right?

TWO TRUTHS and A LIE....

The rules were to:

Tell us 3 things about you and make 1 of them a lie. Try to think about what other bloggers already know about you, what they might not know, and what might shock them. The trick is to make it difficult to tell which of the three is the lie....

Here are three things about me.

1. I saved a boy from drowning during a swimming lesson class and later received an award for it.

2. I never graduated from high school.

3. I got a tattoo on my 18th birthday that I absolutely hate and I've never told my parents.

Truths:
I did "save" a boy from drowning during swimming lessons. He let go of the sides and couldn't keep himself above water by kicking and using his arms, so he slipped under and down I went. I pulled him back up and to the side. I was awarded a certificate after that for my "heroic" efforts.

Technically, I never really did graduate high school; I never walked with my graduating class. During the summer of my 11th grade I got my G.E.D. I hated high school and was not about to back my senior year. School for me was full of drama, competition, mean girls and nasty boys. I don't regret my G.E.D.

Lie:
I do not have any tattoo;. at all. If I did, I would not be able to keep it a secret from anyone, let alone my parents!  

So, were you right?

My infertility has a song

She'll lie and steal, and cheat, and beg you from her knees

Make you think she means it this time

She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair

But I still love her, I don't really care

When we were young, oh, oh, we did enough

When it got cold, ooh, ooh, we bundled up

I can't be told, ah, ah, it can't be done

It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all

The opposite of love's indifference

So pay attention now, I'm standing on your porch screaming out

And I won't leave until you come downstairs

So keep your head up, keep your love

Keep your head up, my love

Keep your head up, keep your love

And I don't blame you dear for running like you did all these years

I would do the same, you'd best believe

And the highway signs say we're close but I don't read those things anymore

I never trusted my own eyes

When we were young oh, oh, we did enough

When it got cold, ooh, ooh we bundled up

I can't be told, ah, ah, it can't be done

"She" is my infertility.

Infertility has lied to me and stolen from me. She made me think that there was a cure that I had a chance, that all I needed was a doctor's help. 

She stole the intimacy from my marriage when it comes to the "traditional" form of baby making. 

She has made me beg for a child and for my body to work. She has made me think that with each new cycle there is new hope; that this cycle might be the cycle. She taunts me with her hope. She is something I can't give up on. 

She had made us think that if we spent our money on fertility treatments we would get pregnant. She made us think that all we needed to do was spend the cash, take the shots, and the doctors would get us pregnant. She lied. 

She made me think that my body could work if we treated it and tricked it with medications. She tricked me; she cheated me.

She stole my optimism. She made me doubt myself, my body, my doctors and my ability to be a mother.

She has shown me that is is better to feel pain than nothing at all. I've believe this because of the stories I've read. Infertility is mean, cruel and heartless. She doesn't care who you are- she shows little mercy. But, the people who feel and deal with her wrath are better people because of her; even if they don't see it now.

She makes me think of Holly, Erika, Liz and Risa. She makes me think of those who have been so close, yet so far away from achieving their dream. She has shown me that even in the darkest hours, in the deepest of pains, it is better to have a memory than nothing at all.

I can stand up to her, no matter how dark the road gets and no matter how far I want to run; I just have to remind myself that it is better to feel pain than nothing at all and if you keep fighting, you might beat her. But. You. Must. Keep. Fighting.

She hasn't won yet. She's torn a hole in me; one I can't repair and that is okay- because just like her, I am stubborn and I can't be told it can't be done!

Tag: What is your "(in)fertility song"?

Tag: Two Truths and a Lie

I stumbled on Jenny's blog they other day and I was immediately tagged and now you are too!

If you are reading this, you have to do it.... those are the rules; Jenny says so.

Tell us 3 things about you and make 1 of them a lie. Try to think about what other bloggers already know about you, what they might not know, and what might shock them. The trick is to make it difficult to tell which of the three is the lie....

Here are three things about me.

1. I saved a boy from drowning during a swimming lesson class and later received an award for it.

2. I never graduated from high school.

3. I got a tattoo on my 18th birthday that I absolutely hate and I've never told my parents.

THE RULES:

Comment below with which one you think is a lie.

Make a new post on your blog and do the same.

After you get a bunch of guesses (or whenever you feel like), make a new post with the right/wrong answers and explain them if you want.