Here is her email...
Hi Teresa,
I saw your post inviting people to guest
post and I'd love to be considered. We've been through 3 failed
medicated IUIs and now we're trying to decide whether to do a 4th or
move on to IVF. I have hesitations regarding IVF and it scares me for
many reasons.
I also wanted to tell you how much I appreciated
your recent post about adoption and knowing your limits. I've looked at
available children to adopt online and I felt like such a horrible
person for not wanting to adopt an older child or special needs child.
Your post is the first post I've ever read that addressed that, and I
admire your courage in writing that.
I have a blog about faith and school librarianship (I'm a school
librarian). Obviously, it's nothing to do with infertility, but you can
get an idea of my writing style. www.DeepLibrarian.com
Thanks again for your blog. It has been a
tremendous help to me this past year. I wish you continued success
Blessings,
Lisa N.
Monterey, CA
Last week, Lisa emailed her post over and I loved it; I knew right away that it was something I wanted to share with all of you! I found both her thoughts and writing style to be fitting for my blog and I felt that we shared similar views. The first line in the third paragraph completely hit home for me because I have had that same thought, so many times...
Please, enjoy.
Faith & Ethical
Decisions
I’m a Christian and I believe God promises me good things, but
I don’t believe that means he promises me a baby.
I also believe that God can bring about healing and miracles
through medical intervention. I’m so
thankful that we live in a time when we have options. My heart breaks for the millions of infertile
women throughout history who didn’t have the options and hope we have due to
medicine and technology.
But because I believe in God, I don’t want to start playing
God. Every step I’ve taken in my journey
on fertility has been preceded by prayer and serious thought. I know that many other infertile women who
share my faith have given similar consideration to their decisions. And women of other faiths (or no faith)
undoubtedly seek to make ethically-sound decisions based on their individual
morality and conscience.
Most people believe that is sacred, and there’s something
magical and mysterious about creating life.
I think we all realize this on some level, and none of us take our
treatment decisions lightly. So I get
extremely frustrated at people who pass judgment on those who are pursuing
aggressive treatment.
This past week I read an article that condemned IUI, IVF, and
gestational carriers as unethical. First
of all, it pissed me off that those three treatments were lumped together as
the same thing. It pissed me off that
someone who has never been through infertility wrote the article. And it pissed me off that people some people
have been guilted into forgoing treatment.
Don’t get me wrong. I am
not advocating a fertility free-for-all.
It looks like we’re headed towards IVF, and I plan on weighing all of
our options in regards to how many (if any) embryos we freeze and how many we
transfer. These are INTENSELY personal
decisions which my husband and I will make after a lot of prayer and research. While I may come to different conclusions
than other people, we can still respect their decisions if they too are seeking
to pursue treatment in an ethical way.
But it took me a long time to discover that I can do IVF in a
way that allows me to keep my Christian convictions. Most of what I found regarding IVF and faith
was filled with rhetoric, guilt, fear, and verbiage designed to sway the reader
into choosing treatment the author approved.
What I wanted was a resource that would help me understand the ethical
issues, dig into what the Bible says (and what it doesn’t say), and then make my own prayerful decision.
I finally found this resource when I read The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples
Facing Infertility by Sandra L. Glahn and William R. Cutler. It breaks down common infertility treatments
and medications and help you examine the moral and ethical issues involved with
each one.
Lisa blogs regularly
about faith and school librarianship at DeepLibrarian.com. She also blogs occasionally
about her infertility journey and creating a home at AmateurNester.
Thanks so much for sharing Lisa! Those ethical and moral decisions are incredibly difficult and personal, and it's so frustrating when others feel the need to put their two cents in....especially if they've never been there. The book looks amazing, and like a fantastic resource to guide couples through a thoughtful, well- researched decision! I can't wait to check it out!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteLisa, I love this. I too have wrestled, heck, I'm still wrestling with this. We're looking at IVF in just a few short months, so I'm excited to read the book you recommended.
Ultimately, I've come to the same conclusion you did: I can keep my faith, my morals AND pursue IVF. I think ultimately we just have to realize that the responsibility rests on our shoulders. We can't expect the doctors to share our views, so if it's important, we've got to vocalize it and keep vocalizing it until we feel confident and comfortable.
I'm working on a post about this right now, so thanks for sharing!!!
Lisa, I have read this book and truly appreciated the various parts of the books that delved into the ethical issues of each treatment. It helped me tremendously in clearing any clouds about the ethical aspect of pursuing IVF in our case. Like you said, my husband and I pray constantly about our decisions and do not take anything lightly. I am so glad you are introducing this book here and I hope that it helps others the way it has helped me. Thank you! I wish you all the best in your decisions.
ReplyDeleteI am having to keep IVF from a large part of my family do to us being christians who practice our faith in the Catholic church. We have come to terms with our choice, but I will be getting this book for sure to help validate things. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI am having to keep IVF from a large part of my family do to us being christians who practice our faith in the Catholic church. We have come to terms with our choice, but I will be getting this book for sure to help validate things. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteGreat guest post! I have to say, I am loving all of these! Such amazing perspectives, such admirable honesty!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Thank you so much for sharing it!! Happy ILC Week
ReplyDeleteI've never really understood the perspective that looks down on medical intervention. I believe that God has educated those doctors and given us medical treatments for infertility, as well as a number of othe things. Of course there are ethical/moral limits to anything, but each person has to figure those limits out for themselves. I haven't read this book, but it does sound like a great resource. Thank you so much for sharing. This tends to be a tough topic for many and it's nice to have someone bring it to the forefront.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this guest post! thanks for sharing
ReplyDelete